Thursday, February 25

MidNidght Confessions: Continued

By Rafael Solece

My eyes swept the street corners swiftly, as my heart pounded in my chest. The occupants that usually stood lording over the dimly lit street corners were absent from their thrown. My heart sank in my chest. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Usually the streets were filled with the presence of would be intimacy suitors, pacing the streets impatiently as they waited for potential buyers of their professional services. Yet tonight the streets were bare. A part of me felt that I was out of luck. Perhaps the usually inefficient Atlanta Police Department had actually gotten busy and ran off the male prostitutes that normally worked the back streets of the upscale midtown neighborhood. The panic ran through me like a flood of hot water, from an un-tempered enema.
I looked down at my watch. The time was only a quarter to four. The clubs had let our only forty-five minutes ago. Perhaps I had decided to find a date too late? All the drunken horny club goers had speed to the alley’s and scooped up the selection of dirty dick trade and taken them home to have a drunken row, leaving me alone in the darkness with no chance of satisfying my own sexual frustrations. I pondered going to the book star around the corner. Or perhaps trying to find the bathhouse that I had mentioned in passing on those rare occasions when My ears had picked up on the random conversations of other more sexually informed men of the same understanding as mine. But then how bold really was I going to be tonight?
Clearly this act had been a snap decision based completely on my own sexual hunger. Was I really will to venture into more conspicuous acts of sexual degeneration? More insightful, was I actually willing to spend more than the ten dollars that I had in my pockets? Clearly those other ideas would lead me to spend more money than I was prepared to. The better notion would be for me to turn around right now and go home clearly it wasn’t meant to be that I find a date tonight. At least not the kind of date that I had to rent by the hour, or by the act. I could always get on line and see if I could find someone just as eager as myself. I made up my mind to head back to the house, nut I would loop around the block before conceding defeat.
I slide between the shadows of two buildings. My eyes and ears alert. Not simply for the presence of the men that I sough, but for any dangers that might lay in the still of the night; a random attacker, gay basher, or lurking police cruiser that might have some intention on spoiling my evening. The stillness around me was almost piercing to my ears. I would have preferred some noise; the faint sound of moving cars, or even the blaring of sirens in the background, but nothing came to interrupt the solitude of the street. I turned the corner where the now empty parking lot sat parallel to the shadows of the stand alone warehouse style lofts stood in contrast to the vastness of the broken concrete. Still no sign of there ever having been a warm body for some time, not even the stale aroma of urine was present. I hiked up the street about a block filling very unhappy with the cleanliness of my new surroundings, and I longed for the danger of a real live neighborhood degeneration.
I turned another corner and finally in the distance I could see the faint possibility of ___. My spirits was lifted, and my feet plugged forward with a newly found purpose. The obscured figures far ahead of me slunk secretively in and out of the darkness. They’re bodies dancing with the urgency of of elusiveness. My heart danced along with them in my chest as my excitement climbed. It looked like I may get to purchase a gift to the dance after all…
To Be Continued.

Tuesday, February 23

Midnight Confessions

By: Rafael Solece


I had never done anything like this before and honestly I didn’t know why I had decided to do it tonight? I guess there is a first time for everything. At least that’s what I said to myself as I slipped on my shoes, pocketed the two five dollar bills that I had grabbed from the grocery money stashed in the can over the refrigerator, slipped on the over sized hoodie that my ex had forgot to pack on the day that I put him out, grabbed my keys, and slide out the back door. I tip toed down the stairs like a cat burglar creeping onto someones fire escape, quietly trying o make my get away with out waking the my unsuspecting neighbors.
Honestly though, it was my neighbors fault that I was even up. There sexcapades had kept me awake way into the early morning hours, as I listened to the female counter part of the beautiful male in apartment number 5, whom I had watched on more than one occasion with lustful eyes as he took out the trash, scream and moan (loudly I might add) in sexual ecstasy. I had only lived next door to them for three days and this was the first time that I had been privy to their sex life, as satisfying as it sounded, and I had to admit I was a tad bit jealous as I laid alone in my bed. He sounded like a phenomenal lover, and my jealousy stemmed primarily from the fact that I couldn’t watch, but not merely because of the fact that it wasn’t I that was engaging in such acts.
Still I must admit that a part of me did imagine that it was I laying in my hunky neighbors bed, moaning euphorically in sexual bliss. For I could only imagine the types of things that he was doing to his equally attractive miss, and a part of me really just wanted to know if my vivid imagination was truly on point. But as their love making coursed on through the night it became infuriating to listen to them, and by the time that they had finally climaxed for the fourth time in one night and drifted softly off to sleep, I was left horny and unsatisfied by the fifth ill fated attempt by my roaming right hand to please the monster called longing in my loins. So here I was walking the street in the that hour between late and early looking for what some would call a date, simply because my harmons had over taken me.
I felt a tad bit ashamed, but there was an air of xhilleration coursing through my veins. Though couldn't believe that I was about to make such a transaction as to pay for sex. I also felt confident in my new found inhibition. I had never done anything like this before, yes. But A part of me had always wondered what it might be like. Out loud and in mixed company I condemned men who did such deplorable thing, but secretly I had always wanted to know what it was like to do it myself. Pay for sex, or get paid for sex. I wondered what the fascination with prostitution was. Maybe it was the mixture of danger and civil dis-obedience that caused someone to step so recklessly out of the box? Or perhaps it was the lack of regular sexual release, or an over abundance of sexual energy? Or perhaps just a boring sex life at home? I didn’t know, honestly I didn’t care. My reasons were my own.
Three months of sexual frustration had bubbled over, and now I was tired of waiting for the right partner to come along. I needed some full body contact, against a hard body. My abundant porn collection could only do so much and I had stretched the fibers of my imagination far beyond its boundaries, and the kink in my wrist had started to irritate me. I needed, no, I wanted some help. And as I crossed the street to the whore stroll I said my silent prayer, hoping that my God would protect me and forgive me for my sin…
To Be Continued

Under Construction; Letter From the Editor


So RafaelSolece.com is under construction. I know it's been that way for a while. Cut me some slack I have been trying to juggle a lot of things and I'm not really paying my graphic designer for his services, so I am not really putting a lot of pressure on him. But I promise the site is coming. It's taken me a minute to figure out what it is that I am going to focus on but I may have found my particular voice amongst the blogging community. Now I haven't got this thing down to a science, I am jkust going to stick to what I know. Which basically consist of artistic endeavors.

RafaelSolece.com will deliver to it's readers and at time viewing audiences, the latest in film and telelvision releases and definitely keep you up with my opinion of what movies rock the and what movies should be tied to rocks, drop in the ocean and forgotten about completely. Of course I will deliver the dish on the best restaurants that I encounter in and around Atlanta, and in my travels. Of course I'll even drop a cooking lesson or two on you, and maybe give you some of my best cocktail recipes. Of Course I will drop an interview in on you from time to time, and some delicious articles about things that matter to me. (That's what's important after all, right?) I give you the best in theater, some trending topics, and I will give you a good sexy short story every so often. So do me a favor, read my blog and hold on for the new RafaelSolece.com coming to a Mac, PC, Iphone, Blackberry, & Droid screen near you.

Thanks

Rafael Solece

A Funny thing Happened when I Arrived @ Work Yesterday

By: Rafael Solece

A funny thing happened when I arrived at work yesterday; Starbuck's and I decided to part ways or something to that affect. Basically I was fired. It's funny that it happened when it did. I was getting so tired of leasing myself out to other business's and neglecting the business of my art form, and I kept telling myself that I was ready to move on to bigger things. Like the formation of my own business entity in Masquerade. Problem was is that I didn't know how I was going to support myself, and though Starbuck's really wasn't supporting my life style. I had convinced myself that I needed it because it was steady; because it was a pay check. Funny how I always talk about being worth so much more than what companies pay me, yet I held on to such a mediocre pay scale, thinking the same way that most working black American's think. At least it's a job, and at least I am getting paid. When the truth is what I was getting paid was nearly what I am worth.

So when the ball dropped and I was given my walking papers it didn't even seem to hurt. In fact a part of me felt relieved. I mean I am not a coffee jocky. I am fucking writer. What in the hell am I doing wasting my time standing in front of a damn espresso machine making latte's, if it ain't my own personal espresso machine and I am doing it for myself? I should be at home writing, creating, developing my craft. That's what I've wanted to do for so long; to focus on creating, writing, the promotion and building of The Rafael Solece brand. Instead I have been wasting time doing a whole bunch of nothing to expand the brand of someone else. That's like the stupidest thing in the world., Here I am 27 years old, going on 28 and I have spent the better half of my adult life helping rich people stay rich, and I've been gett8ing the short end of the stick. That's about as dumb as a dress on a poodle. So of course when my Store Manager gave me my walking papers some part of me felt relieved.

After all I had been talking about working for myself for a long time. I had talked about starting Masquerade, talking about working from home, creating my own schedule; so why wasn't I doing just that? Simple, secretly I was frightened out of my mind about stepping out on my own. Though outwardly I seemed confident in my artistic abilities, inwardly I have been fighting to get up the courage to walk away from my semi-secure J-o-b. secretly frightened that maybe I'm not as talented as I think I am. Nobody is going to invest in a person who won't invest in themselves. So now that I don't have my paycheck anymore. I am taking the chance. I am taking the advice of the very wise and impressionable XemVanAdams, I am launching my much talked about web site, getting myself some advertiser's and sponsors and I am going to work for my damn self.

Look out world Rafael Solece is blogging out loud, and in color.