APOLOGIZE ALREADY DAMET

I Apologize…

Have you ever sat across the couch from someone you truly loved, seething with anger, hurt building inside of you like the pressure of an impending volcanic eruption, and you heart breaking with every passing minute? The whole while wishing that he/she would simply extend a sincere apology for what he/she said, did, didn’t say, or didn’t do; the only problem was that you already knew that an apology was never going to come! And that hurt so much more than what they had actually done to offend you in the first place., because when you have been hurt by someone you love; friend, family, partner, lover be it physical, emotional, purposefully, or un-consciously a non-apology gives the impression that the person really doesn’t give a damn about you. It’s like being hurt all over again, the idea of knowing that the person you love, and who professes to love you doesn’t feel that they wronged you in anyway, or that they choose not to acknowledge the pain you feel at all therefore you don’t warrant a simple My bad.

Such little words; if spoken from the heart and said with the right intent they could have saved a thousand relationships. Instead they have been the downfall of many. Funny the excuse’s made for not standing up and speaking the truth. Oh, if he doesn’t say anything then there isn’t a problem. Wrong, if what I did hurt you why didn’t you say anything, why didn’t you tell me? Excuse’s and propaganda, Problem with hurting someone you love, is that nine-times-out of ten our actions were well processed before they took place, and most of the time we knew that what we were doing was going to hurt the person closest to us. Still instead of saying what could mend broken fences despite bad intentions lots of times we fall back on blaming the person we hurt. An instinctive need we have not to ever be wrong.

But what’s so hard about saying My Bad, I Fucked Up, My Fault for hurting, Offending, Disrespecting you, us, our relationship/friendship. Not a damn thing but Pride for most men, stands in the way of the simplest of things. Whoever said being Gay makes you less of a man, huh! It seems no matter who men sleep with they just can’t seem to let go of those innate traits that keep them from evolving. Pride stops a man from asking for directions. Pride stops a man from saying things like I love you and I apologize. Because he doesn’t want to say it first, seem vulnerable, or admit his wrong doing. The truth is mostly it’s just stupidity. I choose myself over you. I choose not to be wrong over you. In the long run how can saying three little words make you weak? In honesty vulnerability makes you stronger. In love, in relationships, in life.

Here’s the gotcha the worst part about not hearing those words after a while is when you’ve waited so long for that apology and when he finally gives it to you it’s just too late. Because by then so much has happen, so much wasn’t said, so much wasn’t done; so much time was wasted in your heart you’d already given up. Anything pass that just wasn’t worth the breath he used to speak it.