PILLOW TALK...

 

by Rafael Solece

There is something to be said about sharing yourself with someone. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER BOYS AND GIRLS! I am not talking about sex. I am talking about talking. More specifically I am talking about the act of sharing your most intimate thoughts and feelings with someone. Not just anyone, but someone special.

Granted that is one of the most uncomfortable feelings in the world. Telling someone, anyone, your secretes. Especially someone you are attracted to or someone you are dating or in a relationship with. It seems to me that where we seem to be able to tell our friends all of the gory details of our lives; our perverse sexual fantasies and our deepest insecurities, when it comes to sharing those things with the people who matter most we just don't have the nerve.

And that is kind of pathetic when you think about it.

I mean how in the world do we expect to cultivate long lasting relationships if we do not feel comfortable enough to go at it RAW!

"When is Too Much Too Soon?"

The real life confession of Rafael Solece:

I have been dating this guy for a few months now. I know what you’re thinking. There is always some guy. But seriously we’ve been seeing each other for about two months now. He is a really nice guy; very much out of the realm of what I would normally date.  He is, in a word, safe.

What I mean by that is. He is not typically what I would go for. You know me: I like the tall dark and handsome, corporate lawyer type, with a little jock and/or thug thrown in the mix. Very rarely do I go for the safe alternative. What can I say? I like a little danger. But I also know that, I haven’t had the best of luck procuring a life long partner dating those types of men. Usually they have more thug in them than corporate lawyer. So I decided that maybe I was acting a little insane in my pursuit of love and I thought that perhaps it was time for a change of pace. 

Let Me Vent For a Minute

I can't begin to tell you how full my life is right now. With the new part time gig, gearing up to release my second book "Jaded by Any Other Name", the renovations on my house, and the post production for my first film project; I am feeling slighty taken aback by all the combatants that I am dealing with.
I am in no means complaining about the impending success coming my way, but I gotta tell you I sometimes wish I could by pass the frustration and oposition. Its especially frustrationing when dealing with oposition and undie frustrations from people in your life who know exactly what your goals are and they give undue grief, attitude, or stress. I a sure it is all part of that breaking ground process that comes along with building success, but seriously I good really do with out it.
Any way the plan fo the next month has been mapped out, as long as I stay focused and on course. There is nothing that could get in my way. So let's do this! Masquerade Productions all the way!

What Is The Golden Rule

What is going on in the world that dating has gotten to beso convuluted and frustrating? I mean do people even date anymore? I am asking because there seems to be way more sexing going down and hardly any dating going on at all. At least that is my experience.
I don't know about you but dating has become a real guessing game. I can't tell whether the men are seriously interested in me or if their just interested in my ass. And by the time I figure it out its usually too late, cause they've either gotten tired of waiting for the ass and moved on, gotten the ass and moved on, or gotten tired of my attitude and moved on. Either way I am loosing, and that ain't cool.
So seriously what's a guy to do? I am fastly approaching thirty and I haven't been in a serious relationship in five years now. Granted for three of those years I coul have cared less about settling down, but things change, people and their ideals change; and certainly I have grown up enough now to want more than to just be random sex. Sure its fun but while its happening (sometimes) but what do you do when the funs over and you've only got your rat-terrier and a duva to keep you warm at night. Well to answer my own question: you change. And I certainly need a change.
Of course that automatically got me to start asking my friends questions about their dating lives and sure enough a lot of them shared my feelings toward dating, men, and relationships. We were all "OVER IT"
And then enters Nolan. Nolan has been my friend for some years now and Nolan and I share similar reationship experience. We both have been in a very successful relationship that ended in tragedy and a very bad reltionship that ended in shame and bitternes. Well when Nolan was questioned about his dating experiences. Nolan immediately pulled out a little card he had tucked in his pocket and handed it to me.
On the front side it read "THE RULES" and on the back side it has a list of things and they read as follows.
Three Is Key
1. No sex until after the third date (Period)
2. Don't rush the "I Love You's" cause you don't really mean it.
3. Don't commite until After a Three Month Probationary period
4. Both parties should Discuss and Define your expectations. If you don't know what is expected the you can't be expected to know what you can or cannot do.
WhenpI looked up at him aftera long pause Olan simply smiled and said. Follow the Rules, the rules work. Now don't get me wrong, THE RULES make a lot of since, espscially in this modern society we live in now. But why are rules neccessary? And do we really need rules? Shouldn't some things be common since? (That is kind of rehtorical questiona) Of course I think rules are need especially when your dealing with gay men in Atlanta. The real question is will the rules work? Can we follow them? And will they actually lead to a long lasting relationship? Tell me wha you think.
TTFN....

My Pearls of Wisdom

A lot of times in our professional lives we wonder why things are not progressing as fast as we would like them to. I know I have. This is usually because we haven't always been dilligent about making things happen. Sure we make plans. We map out our course, but sometimes instead of planning a course of action the best thing for us to do is actually set ourselves in motion.

You can not expect to achieve anything making plans. Get up and make a move. A dream is only a pretty picture in your head.

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Romance's Revenge

Romance is a illucisive fantasy, That slips in and out of reality at whim. She has no knowledge of time, Not even a home to call her own. Though once she once shared a place with you. She dances through life sparaticaly, showing glimpses of the Former person she once use to be. Every now and then she stays with us, Just long enough to give us a taste of what life was like Before we took her for granted. Only to pack up and run disappear again, Leaving us lonely and longing for her presence. We use passion to fill the void that romance left in our lives, But truth be told, Once you have laid in the silient presence of Romances warm embrace There is nothing that can take her place. ~Rafael Solece~

Living In My Moment

There was a time when I use to be rushing through life, like there wasn't time in life to get done all the things that I felt I needed/wanted to do. Funny how when your young you put yourself on a time table and you rush everything. You rush into being a grown up because you want to do what you want to do but you don't take the time to enjoy your youth. Then when you are finally a grown up you rush to accomplish things because you want to be successful.

When you do that life passes you by. You mis out on things like the moment that you grow into who you are supposedto be. I missed that moment some how. I literally woke up one day, put on a Pot of coffee and realized I was a person. And not just any person but I realized that i  was a person that if I was younger I would admire, even be jealous of me and all that I have accomplished thus far. Funny ho tha happened.

I am not everything I WANT to be. I still have a ways to go before I reach the type of success I want. Hell I don't even have all the things that I have wished for or that I feel I deserve. But I am happy with the man that I have become and the man that I will become and all that I have accomplished.

Most of all I promise that I will live more in the moment. Live more in who I am. Live more in what The Most High GOD has given me

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Food for Thought

Question to All My Members of The LGBT community: Do you feel that we as a community of same gender loving people treat each oher with the respect that we demand from the outside world? Are we as inclusive with one another as we expect the outsideworld to be with us? Are we as loving and supporting to each other as we expect theoutside world to be with us? I ask this qestion because I see so much shade, hatefulness. Separation, and prejudice amoungst us as a family in general: transgender, bi, gay, lesbian, butch, feme, masc.,black, white,latino, fat ,muscular, etc. How can we fight for equality if we are eqaul in each others eyes? Just food for thought...

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One Last Time, One Last Good Bye

A Short Story By Rafael Solece

I glanced out the window and then back down at my watch for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. It was going on one O’clock in the afternoon. The moving men were an hour and a half late and I was growing more and more impatient by the minute. I was going to give them another fifteen minutes before I called the moving company to find out what was going on. And even though I despised using profanity, if they didn’t have a good explanation as to why their movers had not arrived here at my apartment, or why they hadn’t called to tell me that they were going to be late, then I was going to let someone have a piece of my mind. Who so ever happened to be on the end of my wrath, I didn’t particularly care.

This is exactly why I hated moving. It was the worst thing in the world to me next to my allergies and cats. And it was precisely the reason I had passed up three high paying jobs in the last four years. All of which were out of the state or out of the country, and they each would have required me to do precisely what I was doing now; rearranging my entire life. It meant, finding a new home, packing up all my things, leaving all my friends and associates. Only to have to relocate to a new city, integrate new people into my life, and get use to a whole new dating pool which was absolutely the last thing that I wanted to do.

I liked my life here in Detroit: my friends, my home, and the men. I was comfortable here. Well at least I had been comfortable here until the powers at be on my good paying job told me that they were eliminating my position within the company, ultimately leaving me without a job. Which is the reason why I am moving in the first place? My job was seriously the only thing that was anchoring me here. They paid me well enough not to have to move and honestly I liked what I was doing.

Of course that’s all over with. I thought to myself as I snatched the dust pan off the box next to me and gathered the trash I had been sweeping into it. I crossed to the middle of the living room and dumped the rubble into the black trash bag in the middle of the floor. I was tired and hungry. I hadn’t eaten breakfast and I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. I had stayed awake until early this morning trying to finish packing so that by the time the movers got here everything would be readily accessible to them, and all they would have to do was pick my things up and load them into the truck.