Taking control really translates into taking chances for a guy like me; especially when when it comes to men, love, & relationships. I am one of those people who always let's the guy that I am interested in have control. It's my way of being safe and allowing myself to obserb at situation, as someone recently told me.
I don't normally consider this a bad habit it's gotten me through over thus far, but it hasn't neccessarily gotten me what I wanted, nor am I always satisfied with what or whom I have ended up with in the past. And with so many changes going on in my life I don't want to wake up and ever regret what I didn't do, what didn't say, or what I didn't take a chance on because I was too scared to take control. That's not living!
Soni decided tonight that I would be bold that I would take a chance. I decided tonight that I would man up, so to speak, and take control of my emotions. For he past five days I have raving about Mr. Robinson, the man that I meet at BB's crib playing cards on thursday night. The guy is everything that I could have thought of in a man that I could possibly be attractive to. Sensitive, intelligent, sophisticated, remarkably funny, very sexual (in that he keeps up with my appetite very well), he's cocky without being an ass, and he's so sexy. Of all that he makes me feel nervous in that good sort of way that intrigue and fascination makes one feel nervous. To sum all that up; I have a thirst for him. I have a hunger for him that makes me salivate when he crosses my mind, and it's crazy how extremely hard it is to shake him from my thoughts. I want him in a way that that I can only describ as being like starvation.
It is this very desire that drove me to get up out of my bed at 9:15 pm at night to take control. I wanted him to know how I felt so I am on my way to tell him & I hope that buy taking a chance at taking control, that it shows him how vulnerable I am.
- Writing Out Loud from my iPhone
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